GOSH.
It certainly has been a while since I have had enough new knowledge to attempt to write something interesting on this page, and since I last wrote I have seen Snow, Christmas, New Year, New York and New Years' Resolutions all fly past me in a speedy cloud of candy canes and marshmallows. [Not True]
It would seem, therefore, that I should have learnt a lot during this month of festivities;
but in all honesty I coldn't tell you whether it is enough to fill a Christmas Stocking or an entire Grotto. Here begins my list in an attempt to reveal just what the bloody hell I've been doing all this time:
ONE] Surprises really are one of the greatest things to have been created on this earth, right up there with
electricity and make-up remover. [except for instances like I'm actually a man. Surprise! in which case it
moves considerably lower down the list. Thanks Jerry Springer] This is because:
a] it flicks some 'childhood switch' in peoples' brains and reverts them to the age of five, which is
mostly very endearing. [It is not however OK to take this as an opportunity to squeal like a pig.]
b] thinking you're getting speakers for Christmas and actually getting a macbook adds ten points to
your answer to the On a scale of one to ten, how good was your Christmas Day? question.
c] if you're having a bad day, a surprise can make it considerably better. If you're having a good day
a surprise will make you feel like that homeless man with the voiceover voice now he's a celeb, if he
received a cheque from Bil Gates. [that's pretty happy].
This is a pretty good 'surprise face', although I'm not sure the surprise involved sweets, or a Mac.
TWO] The limbo time after Christmas and before New Years' Eve can be horrendously boring. UNLESS YOU GO
TO NEW YORK. [and unless you've been playing a five-day game of monopoly] Without sounding clichéd,
I had a brilliant time being a tourist during these days. I had my camera in my hand twenty four hours a
day, ordered chips with everuything and said 'wow' an awful lot.
That being said, we had a trusty 'non-touristy' guide in the form of Julia Krivonos who took my sister and I
round Brooklyn and other places- like American Apparrel. [1oo% not lying. I wish I was.]
Highlights had to be walking past Backstreet Boys performing a few hits [debateable] on-stage in Times
Square and seeing the beautiful 3D light projection show on the building opposite the Rockerfeller Centre.
[during which time we saw a lady get knocked over by a car. Not so good. She got up though and was
taken to hospital, whilst dancing ball-balls were singining on a skyscraper.] I did however learn that:
a] it is probably not a good idea to learn to ice skate in central park - in the festive season - whilst two
year olds are pirouetting around you. I'd also suggest you bring your own skates if you have them.
The ones I rented have left a lovely hole in my foot. Incredibly fun though!
b] it is probably a very good idea to take a real life camera rather than a phone. Here are some I took
though, quality aside:
There was a lot of snow. I didn't want to sit down anyway so..
A good example of a 'surprise!' face.
there's more HERE . [not that many really]
THREE] New Years' Resolutions are only worth aiming for if they are remotely realistic. That's not always
particulary fun though. [lets face it, Jude Law is getting married soon, again, to someone who is not
any of us. IIt's time to let go.]. So I'll leave you with mine. I'm not saying whether they are realistic
or not. I'm just saying:
Get Signed. Get luvved up. Learn to Skate.
[I can actually spell].
www.myspace.com/hearthesehearts (plug, plug, plug)
Happy New Year.
Here's to the best summer yet.
x
