THIS IS A POOD. A GOOD POST.

TODAY'S post is equally as short as yesterday's but slightly sweeter, mainly because:

ONE] The Cronut has taken over: Yes, in New York people can be seen queuing round the block from 6am
         until the Dominique Ansel Bakery opens at 8am. And why on earth would one do this? Well, to sample
         the 'Cronut' of course. I've given it a capital 'C' to emphasise the power it seems to hold over people
         [or the hype the bakery has managed to cultivate, allowing each customer a maximum of two Cronuts].
         These widely sought-after deserts are a mixture of the elegantly Parisian croissant and the less
         refined but equally delicious doughnut. Now I actually love both of these things, but neither the photographs
         nor the descriptions have convinced me:

Since there's a distinct lack of jam but an
abundance of cream [ugh],

shouldn't they be called éclants?

       I'd naturally love to be convinced, and if anyone would like to send me some I'd gladly give them a go. In the
       meantime, in celebration of all things melangé, here's a list of my favourite word-mashed things:

The Labradoodle. Something oh so wrong
with an incredible name.

The Liger. Like a lion, just a bit more camp.

The Spork. One of the most useful tools

man has created.

and finally, 

The Cake Pops, bringing us full-circle

back to edible things.

I have to catch a train.

But think on it.

Mashing things together is great. And so is mashed potato.

love

STANLEY

whatstanleysays@gmail.com

SHARKA LARKA

IT'S a short one today, but I have wonderfully learnt that:

ONE] This week is Shark Week: I'm not quite sure whether this is the first of its kind or whether this phenomenon
          was started at the beginning of time [when the internet was actually created], but it is happening, and
          now you know. The Discovery Channel are celebrating Shark Week with a week of shark-based
          documentaries, but more bizarrely, [and I shit you not] a shark was today found in the New York City
          subway on a Queens-bound N train. I'm not entirely sure how it found its way there, but if someone put it
          there in celebration, I don't think they quite 'get' it. And by 'it' I mean the significance of Shark Week and
          what it is trying to do [which is obviously to celebrate and make people more aware of sharks, not drown
          them with stuffy subway air].
          

This photo is from Elite Daily
who go into it better and with more

hilarious detail.

      So in celebration of Shark Week, here are a few of my favourite, famous sharks, some from my childhood,

      and some literally from Google, because I don't really know of that many sharks:

Sharky, of Sharky and George

The overly scary shark from Finding Nemo, 

scaring every child

watching to a worrying degree on a daily basis.

The street sharks from Street Sharks.

[apparently it's an American-Canadian tv series..?]

The Sharks from the Sharks Ruby team.

And the shark from Seaworld in Florida.
Obviously not as famous as..

SHAMU! Who isn't a shark, but is famous.

A bit like..

Lindsay Lohan.

Come back tomorrow to see a post equally as short and sweet.

Maybe sweeter because it'll be a Friday.

love

STANLEY

whatstanleysays@gmail.com

PETRI-FRIED

TODAY has taught me a few things, but mainly that:

ONE] googlemeat is now a real-life thing: It's not 'google meat' per se, but the research conducted in order to

         create the first petri-dish burger was funded by Google co-founder Sergey Brin and cost £215,ooo [not sure

         if that included the lettuce and tomato]. There has been a lot of interest in and debate on this, and 

         rightly so; it is the first of its kind. But why are people so surprised at this phenomenon when the first
         test-tube baby was born all the way back in July 1978? I mean, it might have something to do with the fact
         that:

           a] farmers are slightly scared they'll be put out of business, and

           b] we're effectively growing COWS in PETRI-DISHES.

         This might be the first step in making people more aware that our resources will run out if we don't change
         the ways in which we feed ourselves, but it's also a bloody expensive burger. If you want to see the
         [slightly bizarre] first bite it is HERE.

HERE's where I took this photo from, interestingly

featuring an article on GM cows and farting..

TWO] Our roads need to change: And I say this because today saw me nearly being floored by yet another
          London cyclist. I was on a pavement at the time and intended to continue along this pavement [not

          crossing] when a guy on a bike came out of a pedestrian entrance to a building, curving to the right
          at what seemed like at least 20mph straight at me. I barely had time to realise what was going on but
          thankfully he was concentrating and managed to slam on his breaks, before saying 'sorry' and zooming

          off down the rest of the pavement. It's a real big shame because people like him give cyclists a bad

          name. Apart from those crazy kids who cycle on the pavement, from what I can tell the roads in

          London are not made for cyclists, drivers and pedestrians to use all at once because:

             a] they are clearly too dangerous

             b] some drivers don't have enough patience

             c] some cyclists don't have enough patience, and

             d] the roads are clearly too dangerous!

         but we are being encouraged in every way possible to cycle instead of drive [or even walk]. Something

         clearly needs to be done, and if there were ever plans proposed to make London a cycle-only city i'd be

         very happy. Until that day however, i'll just live in the hope that everyone actually remembers the 'rules of

         the road' and try and keep my moaning to a minimum.

This is a photo of my dad.

I

cyclists. See!

Apparently I need a new umbrella.

love

STANLEY

whatstanleysays@gmail.com

FUNKY JUNKY

APART from the fact that my summer clothes still have a use, I have also learnt that:

ONE] It is completely acceptable for chimps to have ice cream for breakfast: I'm not sure how many of you have
         ever had the [dis]pleasure of being dragged to Twycross Zoo, but to give you an idea, a gorilla slamming
         itself into the glass of an enclosure as big as a box room then proceeding to poo on the glass is a normal
         thing. I'm not sure why I was then so surprised to hear that after having escaped their enclosure [naturally],
         some chimps at the zoo were lured back in with fizzy drinks and ice cream. Did I read this right? I some
         burning questions:
                  a] How do those chimps know what fizzy drinks and ice cream are?
                  b] Why is there nobody at Twycross zoo sacking the chimp nutritionist?!
                  c] Are Twycross Zoo single-handedly destroying evolution?
        I understand that they somehow had to be lured back into their enclosure, but the fact that they reacted
        the minute the junk food was in sight is a pretty bizarre and frightening thought. Either way, what
        they clearly failed to remember is that fizzy drinks and ice cream make the consumer [I can't believe I can't
        just write 'person'] hyper. So if they were energetic enough to break down their barriers before they
        escaped, I'm pretty sure they'll be able to manage it again, just much easier. Awkward.

here

I don't think i'd be surprised if they had
'Fatty Fridays' at the zoo. May as well go the whole hog and

order them pizzas.

TWO] You can go clubbing before you go to work: And I don't even mean at all-nighters. That is if you

              a] live in or around the Shoredtich area, 

              b] are into that sort of thing, or

              c] have enough energy to have a life, then use it all up 'raving' before you've even reached 9am.

         Synical I may sound, but I actually think this is a good idea! Why the hell not? I mean, I probably won't
         go because I'm the kind of person who can't go onto the dance floor and bust-a-move without the aid of

         my rum-suit [This suit is an invisible suit,[created by rum, that has a big red button on it reading:

         'CONFIDENCE BOOST. PRESS HERE']. However after watching this video on the BBC website I have
         become aware that there are a lot of people who don't need the rum suit and who can go from pillow to

         full-on-rave-mode in ten minutes. Admirable.

Picture from the BBC website

          The Morning Glory producers [that's funny] state that there will be opportunities to have massages and

          drink healthy, non-alcoholic smoothies. Like the sound of this? More details HERE. And as they say, get

          ready to 'rave your way into the day!'

THREE] Simon Cowell has managed to get an actual lady pregnant.

love

STANLEY

whatstanleysays@gmail.com

BOOKS ETC

THERE hasn't entirely been much to learn since the last time, but what I can say is that:

ONE] I forget I like to read: Which sounds a bit silly really. I think I go through stages where I get so involved in
         a brilliant book that when I'm done I need some air/a social life and banish the 'b' word completely. What
         happens is I tend to leave them so long that my grammar becomes almost non-existant and my
         vocabulary bank shrinks to the size of Dita Von Teese's waist. 

thanks tumblr

         By this point someone mentions the word 'book' and I remember that [actually] I'd quite like to read
         and scour the one shelf of 'library' in our flat for something I've never noticed.The last book I read was this:

Please don't worry. It's a book about Punk.

I am not contemplating anything

untoward.

          This was a gift from my boyfriend who knew that I had a [passing] interest in this era, some of the bands

          and their leather jackets [of which I have one which dwarfs me], but also knew that at the same time I
          knew hardly anything about. The genius thing about this book is that it is entirely formed of quotes from

          the bands in question. Ever wondered just how many random, unrelated words Patti Smith can get into
          a sentence? Or guessed at just how injured Iggy Pop was on that night? Then this is the book for you.

          It comes highly recommended by the two whole people in our household.

          

          After one of those really long breaks, I have found myself reading something on the opposite end of the
          literary spectrum - a story about the elderly and their antics:

Or rather a one hundred year old man and

his antics

           This book written by the Swedish genius that is Jonas Jonasson [i'd never heard of him before] is so
           laid back it's practically..laid back. The style in which it is written allows for a ridiculously easy read

           and although i'm only just under half the way through, i'm already finding it difficult to put down [i've

           become a lunchtime-reader]. Don't be fooled by the subject matter either. Remember, how much would
           you care about rules and authority if you were a hundred years old?

STANLEY

whatstanleysays@gmail.com

         

RIDEY RIDEY

IT'S been three days but i've learnt a few things:

ONE] There's always a new place to go to: On Saturday we visited family in Northampton, during which time we
         travelled pretty much round every little village in Northamptonshire. I don't think i've ever seen this many
         trees/dogs/skate parks in seven hours, ever. On this trip we:

Rode some bikes [that you're not supposed to ride

sitting down]

Took Bonnie and Clyde for a walk...

Did some bmx tricks [that I learnt have names such as

'cancan' and 'fufanu']...

Played rugby with Mollie...

And went home.

    There was only one rainy thunderstorm and we were safely tucked up inside stuffing our faces with Indian
    food at that point. We're all very achey today, but it was completely worth it.

TWO] You've been listening to my new tune: So thanks. Here it is for anyone else who wants to see what i've

          been up to:

Lets hope the weather lasts a bit longer.

Have a wonderful week.

Love

STANLEY

whatstanleysays@gmail.com

GEORGIE PORGIE GOLDER AND SKY

THURSDAY again. Not a scorcher, but i'll gladly take the warmth that we're left with. I've not learnt much since
I came back from the beach, apart from:

ONE] The Prince has a name: Thankfully, because we were all getting a bit worried. And what a name it is! A
         definite power name fit for a future King. Other than that there are a whole load of Greek men and boys
         getting a bit excited about their names finally becoming 'fashionable', a new baby cousin of mine sporting
         the same name [minus the Louis and Cambridge]. But these young men and babies will be separated from
         the new Prince on account of the VII that will be assigned to his name once he reigns. King George VII
         sounds beautifully historic, thrown back centuries into the United Kingdom's past, whilst 'Louis' brings
         it right back up again in to the present. On a side note, why are all the bars in London shut for private
         events? Are they naming ceremony after parties? Has the Queen hired out every bar in Shoreditch?

Thanks msn. AWW BABBA.

TWO] The heat helps: Yes, it the heat helps many things, but mainly my songwriting. I hadn't realised this
          before, but will hopefully make the most of it whilst the weather lasts. Shameless plugging, but since
          it's my own blog I may aswell:

I hope to do some shows soon.

Love
STANLEY
whatstanleysays@gmail.com