CYCLIN' SPESH

FOR some reason I feel inclined to say that I haven't really learnt anthing of importance within the last few weeks.
Why this is the case I have no idea, so I'm trawling through my memories like a starved scavenger in search of something to say so as not to leave this page all cold, bare and un-funny, like Harry Hill's head.

I'm sorry but I find him as funny as my feet. I don't laugh, I cringe.

Here we go anyway:

ONE] Twos-ing on a bicycle at half past four in the morning around London after a night of Espresso Martinis [I
         had to make myself fit in with the crowd somehow] is incredibly irresponsible.  I don't care though because:
                         a] It beat awkward conversation with a cab driver who doesn't agree with drinking.
                         b] I saw pretty much an entire city by night and discovered roundabouts I did not know existed.
                         c] it's pretty thrilling as several near-death experiences turn into jokes.
        Basically it was a lot of fun.
        It is not OK to do this however if:
                         a] neither of you know London [thankfully one of us did, just about]
                         b] you're not wearing ankle pads covered in bubble wrap.  I returned to my room with several
                            large greeny-blue bruises. Attractive!

This is actually what we looked like. Except I was only crying inside.

TWO] Being ill, having to stay at home and being faced with NO Man Vs Food [the only thing worth watching on
         TV] is a recipe for absolute disaster.  I have discovered that I can not stay still for more than five minutes,
         six at best.  This is annoying because:
                        a] at this point I don't really have the energy to move, but I'm trying really quite hard, dragging my
                            feet and pulling the sad face, a picture more pathetic than Bin Laden at a Human Rights
                            ralley.
                       b] once you've made it off the sofa you realise there is nothing you can do, so you make the epic
                           five minute journey back and fall asleep.
                       c] it makes me feel like a HOBO.

To be honest I think he is just attention seeking. Look at that goatee.

THREE] I have friends cooler than Anne Robinson in the Arctic eating ice cream.  This sparkly gem was
             produced by TANTRUMS and friends in what can only be described as a moment of genius. Fans of Junior Spesh and lovers of the famous fast-food outlets in Birmingham must hear this.
CHICKEN SPESH

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

They do other serious songs too. Really good like.

Enjoy.
I can't really say more than that.

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