CRYSTAL FIGHTERS, HMV INSTITUTE, BIRMINGHAM, 23rd March '11

UNSURE as to whether there were sound problems or not, as I walk in to the middle of London based JOYOUS's set it seemed as though the band had confused the crowd with audio-challenged pensioners, resulting in ten decibel shouting which reached its peak [vocally] during a song starting at the wrong pitch and remaining so for the majority of the song. That being said, the the crowd seemed to be won over by their youthful passion and clear love for the stage.

I was therefore pleasantly surprised when London's own Get People kicked off with something that can only be described as what The Knife sexing up Hot Chip in Herculese and Love Affair's van would sound like, but with more smiles on account of the highly excitable guitarist.  Creating seriously contageous synth pop sprinkled with shakes from the best percussive instrument I think I've ever seen: a pineapple maracca, this outift are as tight as Kate Moss' leather trousers as well as being really rather good.  Stand Out Song of the night: Careless which you can listen to here HERE

Get People: Always on the hunt for Pineapples

At this point, and having only just realised that Get People were not in fact the headline act, on step Crystal Fighters, a bizarre visual feast of people who seemed to have been picked from an 'opposite band' convention.  True to their appearance, the set went from sounding like Jamie T at a Carnival in Brazil, moving to KOL, Britney Spears and back to England with a completely unpredicted dubstep interlude during Swallow, which was followed by the wildy popular homage to electro I Love London.  Needless to say I was confused when it began and remained confused until it ended; excusing that, the band clearly have pulling-power and succeed in getting pretty much everyone involved.  Special mention must go to the Humpty Dumpty-esque light that was seen to be flashing throughout on the right of the stage next to the semi-naked guitarist.

Humpty's a bit camera shy

All in all an eyeopener of a gig.
I'd see Get People again purely for the pineapple maracca, and i'd see Crystal Fighters just in case they bring back Michael Jackson from the dead.

www.myspace.com/crystalfighters

www.myspace.com/joyousb

www.myspace.com/getpeople

SECRET BOMBSHELL PARTY

GOODNESS.
It has been a long time.  I'm not quite sure whether this is down to me being ill for weeks on end, me not learning anything or me being lazy [the last two are not mutually exclusive]; suffice to say that I think it's about time to re-open my learning arms to the world and embrace the new air of intellectual activity/interest that seems to be circulating hand in hand with news of the Middle Eastern rebellions, Japan's earthquake disaster and the 'Summer'.

ONE]  It may surprise you to know, therefore, that the first thing on my list concerns Marilyn Monroe. Yes, it was
          only a few days ago that I discovered that this ultimate, perfectly formed blonde bombshell [a lady who had
          one shoe heel smaller than the other in order to accentuate her 'wiggle'] was married, if briefly, to none
          other than literary superstar [if you're taking English GCSE] Arthur Miller.  I'm not entirely sure why this
          shocked me, but it's probably down to the fact that i'd always imagined him looking like a cross between
          Pavarotti and Tony Shalhoub [the guy who plays Adrian Monk, the loveable OCD Detective. Thanks
          daytime TV + sick days.]It pleases me to know that Mr. Miller was in fact tall and slim, did not sport a
          goatee and wore pretty brilliant glasses.

"I'm sorry Marilyn YOU COMPLETE BABE can it wait? I'm posing."

TWO] I don't like coffee [coffee cakes make me want to cry a litle bit] and I don't like Martinis, but i've recently 
         learnt that I do like the adventurously named 'Espresso Martini'.  Although one of the campest drinks a man
         can be seen to be holding, I defy anyone to turn his nose up at this King of Cocktails.  Best Feature: This
        drink actually tastes how coffee smells and is topped off with three little coffee beans.
        It is not OK however to drink this if:
                         a] you're going to end the night in half an hour.  These things pack an insane energy punch; and
                         b] there are bowls of fruit lying around the incredibly poncy bar you've been taken to.The fruit will
                             end up in someone's face and you will wake up with a lime next to you. [a little more green
                             and a little smaller than you're used to]

Yeah they may look innocent, but the tongue gives it away.

THREE] Blondie is playing Secret Garden Party! I had a brilliant time at this festival last year [i would not be
             surprised if it was actually run by pixies] even though the main acts, it has to be said, were about as
             interesting as Mr Bean's big toe. [urghh feet]. So, having bought my ticket I can safely say that Debbie
            Harry's show [another blonde bombshell, if a little more wrinkly but less dead] is just another really good
            reason to get a ticket, which you can do HERE 

Here's a picture i took of some cannibals at last year's SGP.

I've quite a busy weekend in store.
Expect things to be learnt.

x