DEGU-DNESS ME, IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD

IT's the last Thursday before Christmas everyone which means several things:

   a] Most people will be travelling with bags and bags of presents and overnight clothes on the same train as me
       tonight i.e there'll be no room to breathe.

   b] There is literally no more time to buy presents or festive jumpers [Saturday doesn't count because it is 

       Christmas film day].

In which case I won't waste any more time but go straight into what I have learnt in the last week:

ONE] Degus are pretty cute: Degus [aka the 'bush-tailed rat' according to Wikipedia..] are pretty cute and have

         entered my life through constant updates and photographs by the wonderful Holly Hodges who has recently

         acquired two. Considering I didn't even know they existed three weeks ago i'd say i've become quite

         attached to these scurrying creatures [who I haven't actually met yet]. I'd describe them as a cross

         between dwarf rabbits and hamsters. They love chewing anything, chatter like old women (apparently) and,
         like some of us, die of a broken heart if separated from their friend [they have to be kept in pairs].
         If that doesn't tug at your tinsel-ly heart strings, here are some photos of Chili and Cinnamon:

Chili is a poser apparently.

Cinnamon sits in the food bowl so Chili can't get to the food. She's a bit of a fatty.

Naughty little degu!

But ultimately they love each other and sleep like this.

      What I said about there not being enough time to buy presents, there is still time to pop into a pets store.
      Just remember kids, a degu is for LIFE and not just Christmas. Plus you can't really keep them under a tree.

      They'd chew their box.

TWO] The end of the world is nigh: As I have mentioned before [weeks in advance to give you enough time to dig
          a bunker], the Myan calendar ends tomorrow. Some [most] have taken this to signify the end of the world
          instead of the fact that the person who made the calendar probably got bored/tired and decided to have a

          cat nap. The Russians have taken this as an opportunity to party [they've clearly got the right idea] in an
          underground venue, complete with original Cold War Bunker features. I think this is a brilliant idea because
          if the gossip is right they'll not feel it coming as they'll all be willy wonkered on Russian's finest spirit. If
          the gossip is just gossip they'll not notice as they'll all be willy wonkered on Russian's finest spirit. This

          now brings into question the time of said 'Apocalypse'. Is it 12am GMT? Highly unlikely as the

          calendar was made pretty much in Mexico. Online count downs suggest that it will happen just after 11am
          tomorrow morning. Either way, tell your loved ones you love them to bits and thank them in advance for
          their thoughtful Christmas presents as you might not get a chance to later [plus who needs an excuse to
          say the first thing anyway?].

Though you'll probably want to pre-order one of these then

tie-dye it later to make it 'cool and ironic'. Thanks Google.

THREE] Chili plants need space: I've come to realise this rather sadly as my Chilis are slowly turning rather
             pale and crinkly. I know - this is so so sad. But I gave them each an injection of new soil a few weeks
             ago which seems to have spurned the growth of some new flowers - And we all know that flowers =

             CHILIS! Anyway, here's a picture of the healthiest looking one. Please don't grass me up [no pun

             intended]. Avert your eyes if you are particularly sensitive:

The big green splodge in the middle is an actual chili.

So there we have it. Three things learnt.
I would also just like to take this opportunity to say that sadly my great grandma Alex passed away last Friday. She lived a full life surrounded by children, grandchildren and great grandchildren and will be sorely missed.

For anyone who doesn't know but would like to, her funeral is tomorrow at 11am at Agion Konstantinos and Elenis Church, Station Road, Erdington.

Lots of love, 

STANLEY

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SITARRRRR'N YA BIG BABY

It happens to be another Thursday, on the cusp of the weekend and at the backside of the working week, and with it comes a few interesting facts I learnt since last time:

ONE] Ravi Shankar was NORAH JONES' DAD?!: It is widely known that Ravi Shankar passed away on
         Tuesday in Southern California, a sad piece of news for all musicians and indeed music enthusiasts
         from the sixties 'til the present day. He helped bring the sound of the sitar to the forefront of pop culture
         with the Beatles [but mostly George Harrison], and helped raised money for charities helping the homeless
         in Bangladesh amongst other things. Something that is not widely known is the fact the Mr Shankar is in
         fact Norah Jones' father [woah] Was I the only person who didn't know this? I find it hard to believe that
         I haven't ever come across this fact, especially since becoming more interested in Ravi after
         watching the Martin Scorsese documentary of George Harrison's life. Whilst father and daughter shared a
         love for music, their compositions couldn't be further apart on the musical spectrum, with Shankar
         composing film scores and playing traditional, meditative pieces con sitar, and Ms Jones delving into the
         mainstream [soppy songs]. That said, I did really like 'Don't Know Why' when it was released in 2002. That
         said I was fourteen at the time. Either way, I think this is a worthy piece of trivia that'll probably win you
         some peanuts at the pub quiz next week.

Lets face it. He was a very cool guy.

New bob. Cool-er?

TWO] Adult Babies exist, and probably a few feet away from you: Wow, now this was a weird one. Not only did I
         learn that this wasn't made up, I discovered that there are over 40,000 people in the world who casually like

         to become babies in their spare time. This includes sucking dummies, lying in giant cots and getting
         nappies changed, mainly by their PARTNERS. Now I'm not one to judge, but really, could someone explain
         to me how this works? Oh wonderful -  there is [conveniently] a documentary entitled 'The 15 Stone Babies'
         on Channel 4 tonight at 10pm! I probably won't be back home in time to watch this, but be sure to know

         that I will be popping on the old 4oD so I can see exactly what this phenomenon sweeping
         the country [i'm not even lying] is about. I believe that most 'adult babies' find this the perfect way to

         escape the responsibilities of an adult life, including tax, bills and a whole host of other things everyone

         deals with on a daily basis. Is this how the leaders of the world avoid becoming alcoholics? I rather like the

         idea of Angela M. and David C. discussing the pros and cons of dummies whilst sitting in their giant cots.

Wow that teddy bear looks a bit..angry.

        Be sure to tune in tonight and tell me all about it!

THREE] Winter Wonderland is open: Yes, the magic that is the Winter Wonderland has re-opened in Hyde Park

            [I'm a little late on the uptake with this one] and I will be sampling its delicacies [no innuendos here] this
            very evening. I'm quite partial to a mulled wine or a mountain of carbalicious Christmas breads and cakes
            so I'm due to have a wonderful time. That being said, it does have Birmingham's German [Frankfurt]

            Christmas market to live up to. I'm very exited for this though because:

                       a] It's a really good way of officially making myself fell more Christmassy

                       b] I can pretend it's the weekend because it's a really weekend-y thing to do, and

                       c] maybe the mulled wine will warm me up for more than two seconds.

I've got to say. It does look pretty Christmassy. Wish I hadn't lost my bobble hat so I could fit in more tonight.

On a side note, in the next four days I have to:

hand out 5 Christmas presents

make 4 train journeys,

go to 3 parties (so to speak),

cook 2 roast chickens,

see my poorly great grandma

#and a partridge in a pearrrr treeeeeee

Lots of love

STANLEY

ROYAL BABY, ROYAL PIZZTAKE

Well hello Thursday and thanks for bringing with you a day of immune-system battering. As I am feeling increasingly 'under the weather' in each possible sense I will be keeping this as short and as sweet as I can:

ONE] Kate and William are having a babba and if she's a girl she'll be able to rule: Obviously women have the
         ability to rule already as we well know [hiya Lizzie], JUST now the government have passed a law [is it a
         law?] that this little 'proverbial' girl will be able to rule our island even if she goes on to have one or two [or
         infinity if we're being pedantic] younger brothers. Although I am someone who thinks traditions are super
         fantastic [and I really do], I will make an exception for this rule in the acknowledgement that if the people
         who govern the country do not 'move with the times ' [lots of inverted commas today], we're sure to be
         stuck in the [icy] mud or gearing for reverse. In other news, the fact that Kate is preggers is in fact
         something I learnt this week, along with those two delightful presenters from Australia who decided to dupe

         an unsuspecting nurse with their worst English accents into giving them information about Kate's condition.

         Having heard a recording of their little game I remain eternally baffled into how they were believed, but also
         live in the hope that one day we could all use the same tactic for something nice, like free pizza, and not
         something worth of another Leveson inquiry. I am also following @royalfoetus if only to get some sort of
         interview out of them. 

TWO] Pizza Hut have created a perfume: I deleted the first statement I wrote which was 'Pizza Hut have gone
         mental' because really, it is a deceptively clever idea. Whilst the Canadian sector of this well-known
         pizza chain have created it to promote their pizzas to their customers, the story has candidly found its
         way to my desk in East London, thus proving that this was in fact a brilliant PR stunt. I defy anyone to say
         that they don't like the smell of freshly baked pizza; I HAVE however found a flaw in this eau de pizzette.
         I frequently eat pizza in my room [no judging] and consequently spend the next two days trying to rid it of
         the smell of my indulgent binge. I very much doubt that this perfume is going to smell like freshly baked
         pizza but very much think that it'll smell like thing I try and cover up. Either way, i've got to say that I am
         definitely intrigued, if only to see which theory is right!

And here is the photo thanks to my good friends at the Daily Mail.

Tomorrow I am getting on a train to Newcastle even if i'm hallucinating and physically stuck to my duvet.

lots of love

STANLEY

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