ONE] Spontaneous trips to Manchester after work on a Friday are always a good idea. It was my first time in
this city and I really did have a brilliant time. Everyone there seems incredibly friendly [one might say
occasionally too much so] and the bars are laid back though not so horizontal your tripping over hippies;
HOWEVER, it is not OK to
a] drink neat JD from inside a white plastic bag on the train whilst sitting next to a dealer
with nails as long as Winehouse's nose in order to 'catch up' with the rest of the party.
People can smell it even if they can't see it; what on earth else would you be hiding and swigging
from a plastic bag anyway? Ribena? I think not.
b] say 'yes' to a miraculously appearing bottle of rum after having nearly finished said JD whilst
singing along to Frank Sinatra. The idea is to stay awake en route to a bar..
This + this does not = Happy Sober Ribena days. Sorry
TWO] Manchunians called Nigel are entertaining. Yes Nigel on the bus tried to sell us a stolen camera, yes
and a stolen toy engine that 'goes like the clappers', yes Nigel's left arm
was bandaged, yes Nigel's right nuckles were bloody, and yes he was in his forties. This does not however
mean that it is OK to:
a] Ignore him. He's actually quite smiley. Yes, smiley.
b] give him your number when he asks for it. Tempting as it may seem girls, resist.
Oh HI Nigel. [except Nigel wasn't blonde, or in a suit]
THREE] It doesn't matter how much you reassure someone. If you're a villain inside their head you're as
debaucherous as Oscar Wilde in an Opium Den on Canal Street.
Oscar 'F'Nay Nay' Wilde
In other news:
Willy Mason is playing at the Glee Club tonight.
I may end up going alone which could be interesting. It is however the best ten pounds I have spent in a long time, if only to hear him play If The Ocean Gets Rough (écouter) in a room as big as a lounge.
Swoon swoon swoon.
Expect some soppy drivel about this gig tomorrow..
x
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