POSITIVELY POTTY

ANOTHER Thursday into the new year and the influx of new things I've learnt is moderate to steady, sure to pick up pace soon! Lets waste no more time then:

ONE] Positive Thinking Works: I am aware this is probably going to make me sound incredibly annoying and
         [for those of you who remember as far back as last year] repetitive, but positive thinking really does work.
         I remember really pushing for this a few weeks before I was offered a job that ensured the longed-for move
         from Birmingham to London; now, at the beginning of a new year, I feel compelled to give it a go again.
         Safe to say that after one day it WORKED in a measurable, tangible way. I may or may not have thought
         positively [a lot] about receiving a large sum of money, BUT it doesn't have to be material things. You can
         even think away the flu, or think away traffic. The trick is to think of a negative thing in a positive way E.G
         If there is a lot of car/people traffic, rather than thinking 'Woah, this traffic is crap AND will make me late',
         think, 'I have plenty of time to get catch my plane to the Bahamas' or wherever it is you are heading.
         You can basically do this for any thought you have and, as irritating as it may seem to you on this post,
         I urge you to give it a go. Here's some encouragement:

YOU can be an action man too; unless you're more into

 fashion - then you can be Ken.

TWO] Shopping Scares Me: Yes. Like a little leaf on a large street surrounded by loads of really big leaves, I

          seem to panic slightly when I have to go shopping for clothes [I don't even understand my own analogy]

          because I have realised that I can't get away with wearing clothes I wore in sixth form anymore.

          So you can imagine what a pickle I have put myself in having decided that I am going to spend an entire
          day alone in Selfridges trying to use up my Christmas vouchers on a Saturday. That is me - my 

          headphones - six floors of material goodness and my incapability to shop for myself. I have therefore

          compiled a list of things to get me through the day:

            a] Don't go in there with any 'need to buy' items. Added pressure will only result in disaster.

            b] Take it a floor at a time. If I like something, no dilly-dallying and no returning to the floor. I either buy
                it or take a hike.

            c] Hydrate. I'll take a cold bottle of water with me. No body/brain likes to be starved of water when an
                important task needs to be carried out in a stuffy department store.

        I feel quite confident that if I put all this into place, i'll survive AND come back with more than one item.

        If I do i'll post visual evidence.

        If you have any additional tips please..share them.

TAKEN FROM THIS BLOG even though its going to be me.

THREE] Toddlers Use iPads! : Stop what you are doing. Put down that Kit-Kat smeared pen. Push away that
             coffee-drenched keyboard, for the iPotty has been created. The Consumer Electronics Show in Las
             Vegas proved fruitful, presenting super HD TVs, autopilot cars, and intelligent spoons that inform
             you if you are eating too quickly [though if you buy one of these, the speed at which you eat is
             clearly the least of your problems]. One thing that wasn't on BBC News the other morning however
             is the iPotty, which is basically exactly what the title suggests: a potty with an iPad attached

             [smallprint: iPad not included].

             This story seems to have packed two giant baby-sized punches:

                 a] Toddlers use iPads?! When did this happen? Why is technology constantly trying to make me
                     sound like a Victorian grandma? I don't even own an iPad and can't even begin to deal with an
                     iPhone. Now the Daily Mail are telling me that toddlers use these electronic elements on a
                     daily basis, even showing adults how to use them. I'm not sure I want to see this ever happen in
                     front of me.

                b] Why would pre-pants people need to play with an iPad whilst they have a two second wee?!
                    By the time they switch the thing on they're done. How does this make any sense? Oh, the
                    seat can be covered so it becomes a chair? So the children will sit on a wee-smelling chair all
                    day playing on an iPad instead of throwing toys around the house and jumping on the sofas?
                    I admit I can see where some parents might be tempted. But really. This is so wrong.

                I would like to think that these inventors will one day create something more useful, like an electronic
                sweet dispenser, or.....well something more useful.

Nice and innocent and OH there's an iPad.

One full day to go before I attempt the impossible.

Don't forget to think positively [ignore all cynicism about the shopping spree in question].

Lots of love, 

STANLEY