Happy Thursday
and oh have I learnt something as obscene as the thought of Gemma from TOWIE
rolling around in a paddling pool full of mud.
ONE] Robots are
[well on the way to] taking over. That’s right – think Will Smith and his
metal-clad friends, only
worse. These robots even look like us [and by us I
mean the general human race as opposed to a shiny
bit of R2D2 wheely fun]. I’ll
admit, I may have read this on the Daily Mail website [my lunch-time fountain
of wisdom] but lets not be too hasty. There just so happens to be a video on
the site which dispels any
doubtful thoughts to the furthest away point of Timbuktu. This so-called robot has a name, albeit with a
number at the end of
it, Bina48, lest we forget that it is not actually human [a bit like calling a dog
CharlesDoggy]. In every other way it also bares
a startling resemblance to a wrinkly, over make-upped
lady in her more mature
years. Oh wait. Wait – it doesn’t have a body. Yes boys and girls, this robot
does
not have any limbs. Rather than being a glaringly obvious mistake [come on now
quantum physicists] this
fact pleased me for two reasons:
fact pleased me for two reasons:
a] it won’t be able to run after me
once it crosses over to the dark side and starts waging war
against
me with the toaster and it’s valiant steed, the hoover, and
b] it
looks kind of funny.
Jokes aside, this
phenomenon relies on us humans downloading our thought processes as such onto
the
robot’s memory, allowing it to think independently from there. It’s exactly what
you think. The robot then
forms its own personality based on the personality of
the person whose information it has. Madness? Less
80s band behavior and more
on the bloody-battles and fake abs Sparta level. Not satisfied with freaking
out
the entire world population with word of this invention, the makers have
decided that they want the bust to
be able to tell jokes. Think exceedingly
morose clowns with happy faces painted on in bold colours and you
start to
understand just how bizarre this all is. The bot is being sold with the idea
that you’d be able to have
conversations with your deceased grandma after she
is long gone. Now I love my grandmas to bits, but the
thought of having
conversations with plastic versions of their heads [but with far more garish
makeup] and
an uncannily train-station-tannoy-esque voice sends the wrong kind
of shivers down my spine. Don’t
agree? I’ll leave you with a link to the video
so you can decide whether or not you’d like to have a bunch of
floating heads
with their own brains sitting in your house whilst you are cozily sleeping in a
room right
above their heads [quite literally].
Lovely emotive photo complete with artsy fuzzy background. SEE WHAT I MEAN?! [Thanks Daily Mail for your photograph]
TWO] Chilis are a
bit greedy. Yes, it’s time for a chili update! As it stands, the Jalapenos and
Scotch Bonnetts
are still lagging, refusing to grow any taller than they need
to, with the Unnamed Chilis and the American
Chilis devouring more sunlight and
water than a baby on the chubby side [no surprise there] and
apparently
deciding they are intent on growing in such a way that resembles a mini
rainforest. Excuse me
for being a bit pessimistic here, but how much time do I
have to wait to catch the tiniest glimpse of an
actual chili?! Yes, I admit, I
need to re-pot the lot, but really, not even one little spicy sighting is
starting
to make me think that Chili growing’s not what I hoped it’d be. Disappointed?
You should see my face
every day I come back from work and run to the window…
Unnamed Chili - Right. Weedy excuse for a plant - Left
American Chili - Left. The least spicy, smallest Jalapeno plant in the plant world - Right
Hopefully the next time you see them they'll be potted and more chili-like.
Lets see what the weekend brings.
Hopefully some sun.
SK
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