FASHION KART

I genuinely can not believe it is Thursday again. It seems the time I have allowed myself to learn new things is getting less and less with each post! Regardless, here’s some things that I found out this week:

ONE] Outdoor go-karting is amazeballz omg rofl: Yes! Having failed miserably at the professional, hi-tech karting

         a few months ago [I ended up doing 8 laps and spent the other 40 cheering and drinking wine. Overalls

         half on.] I loved the rough-and-ready outdoor karting so much, I ignored the fact that I was getting battered

         by the chair I was sitting in whilst whizzing round corners. I did end up looking like I had been in a fight

         with a wild bear who’d had boxing lessons from Frank Bruno BUT I also finished with a grin the length of

         the Atlantic. I’d managed to complete a total of 60 minutes which included dodging my mother [who had

         conveniently driven herself in the middle of the track at ten miles per hour] and keeping up with my boy

         and my dad who were channeling the ora of boy-racers. Somewhere in my happy medium I managed to let

         go of the break and skid round sharp corners and s-shaped turns at an ungodly speed. Do not however try

         this if:

             a] you get remotely travel-sick. Whilst we didn’t feel it in the karts, the minute we stepped out we were

                steadying our heads with our hands and deep-breathing like women in labour. [I actually feel sick

                typing this]

             b] you bruise like a peach and/or have suspicious friends. I would advise the buying of concealer for

                both men and women and photographic evidence that the bruises as large as your face were done by

                seats and not fists.

That warning sign made me feel so brave.

TWO] The Germans have a lot of time on their hands: No, I haven’t been sitting in on top-secret EU meetings; I

          have however been reading the Daily Mail and they have told me that the Germans have invented a bike

          that has no saddle or pedals. Brilliant! In a world of increasingly obese people, the first thing we should do

          is definitely invent a bike that you don’t need to pedal. The second thing we should do is get everyone

          riding big yellow bikes on cycle paths the size of worms. Aside from all these obvious facts, the most

          blindly bloody obvious thing is that the person riding it will look ridiculous. Can they not invent something

          more useful like..something more useful?

The FLIZ bike. Great name, great bike.

THREE] Anna Dello Russo is bonkers: Yes, she might be the Queen of fashion and yes, she might have a

             better body than anyone you’ve ever seen even though she’s the same age as your grandma -  but

             really, what the hell is this video about?! Granted – it has given her new collaboration with

             H&M an amazing amount of coverage but it has also made me cringe [preposterous!] It reminds me of

             Countess LuAnn of Real Housewives of New York City fame and her Money Can’t Buy You Class

             song. There really is no need. However, the more I watch Ms Russo, the more I realise just what she

             is achieving. “Hi, I’m Anna and I am much cooler than you.So much so in fact that I can prance around

             in a plastic mini-dress, breathe some silly words into a mic, look awkward and STILL look better than

             you on your best day after an American-style makeover.” I think she wins. Well Done Dello

             Russo!

Money Can't Buy You Class, as well LuAnn knows.

This looks like someone's 'weekend vid of the weekend lol' on facebook.

Another hot weekend is headed our way and I will be in sunny Worthing what looks to be a beautiful wedding.

p.s HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD x

See Ya,

STANLEY