POTTER BAKER POTTER

It is once again that time of the week where I plug my laptop into work's internet, my laptop throws a tantrum and I end up returning to my desk and promising that I won't bring my laptop in next week even though I know i'll probably forget and bring it. Now the kerfuffle is over, here's a few things I learnt:

ONE] Moms are cool: I knew this already, as momma Koumz is widely known to most as being pretty ace,
         but really, moms are cool . As a birthday treat to my 23 year old sister my mom decided to book us all
         tickets to The Making of Harry Potter. When asked on the day 'Have you read the books?' and 'Do you like
         the films?' her answers were 'No' and 'They're not really my thing'. When also asked how excited she was
         about our Harry Potter extravaganza the response was more of a jump and a squeal. Momma
         Koumz is very good at organising 'fun things', so whilst I am not an avid HP [glasses, not the sauce] fan
         either, I had absolutely no doubt that the trip would be a great one. I was right to trust and we all had a
         wonderful day of 'oohs' and 'aahs', chocolate insect eating and broom stick riding. You did in fact read that
         correctly. See below for proof:

Here is mom flying above some cliffs.

       Mom flew over other things, like a train track and a lake. She was actually very good. Too good some might
       say. If you do happen to know some Harry Potter fans out there, definitely hop on a train to Watford Junction
       and take them to this HP fest. We saw some young girls hyperventilating in front of us as the doors opened

       up to the Great Hall. In summary, mothers are cool. We should probably let them know more

       often.

TWO] Bread is in the news: The Daily Mail has won my heart once again by filling a whole web page
         with an article on how the smell of bread makes people kinder. If you are standing near a bakery [or inside

         Asda] you are statistically more likely to assist someone and generally be in a better mood. I could
         have saved the scientists an entire experiment, but at least there is some explanation for my addiction.
         The smell of freshly-made bread clearly makes me:

                   a] happy

                   b] a nicer person, which I obviously like

                   c] a fatty [I don't like this]

        Does this make me feel a little less guilty about my bread addiction? Why not. Which brings me to my
        next bit of news. A few Mondays ago I decided to cut out bread at work [not dinner, I couldn't do that],
        which would bring my bread-eating down by half. Has it lasted? YES. To my complete and utter surprise, I
        have seen three bread-less lunchtime weeks, with Monday being the start of the fourth. I think I speak for
        everyone when I offer myself congratulations. Thank goodness I have a giant version of one of these at home

        for a post-walk-home treat:

What I actually have is twice the size of this and tastes suspiciously like a croissant.

THREE] Christmas parties are looming: As of today, they are looming. Today I was informed of
             two Christmas parties. That's two nights of Christmassy indulgence in the space of a week. As you
             can probably tell, I am not one for moaning of Christmassy feelings pre-December. In fact, since

             it always feels abruptly cut short after Boxing Day, I say why not prolong the feeling as long as we

             can?! This, along with the fact that one of these parties looks like a full-blown wedding, has switched on
             on my jingles [not a euphemism]. So here's my top tips for smooth work Christmas Party Sailing:

                          a] Do not think that December = sparkles. You must not turn into a cropped 1980s American
                              prom dress that looks like its been dipped in fairy's vomit.

                          b] Pre-dinner cocktails may seem friendly, but they're the Judas of the party world. Under no
                              circumstances must you have more than two because 'they seem to be multiplying on the
                              table' and you can't remember if you've had any.

                          c] It is never OK to dance to Slade's 'Merry Xmas Everybody'. It is even more not OK to dance

                              to Slade's 'Merry Xmas Everybody' with your boss.

This is what your party shouldn't [but probably will] look like

This weekend sees me reunited with my synth and watching fireworks Hammersmith.

Add some bread in there and this could be the best weekend of my life.

Love

STANLEY