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Thursday, 9 May 2013

BLACK COUNTRY BIRTHDAY BLOB FISH

IT is Thursday again and I must say, I haven't learnt a whole lot, mainly because my left tonsil has been giving me absolute jip. So in light of this, here's what the week so far has taught me:

ONE] It is very difficult to do things without your tonsils: Since my job requires me to talk all day, I found
         myself in a bit of a pickle. How do you speak on the phone, or to the person opposite you, or to the person
         across the room without moving your tonsils? You can't is the answer to that. Even if you breathe or yawn
         your tonsils are there, making a point. What's even more annoying is that their full purpose isn't even
         understood by doctors to this day; yet having them out could mean ending up in intensive care if anything
         goes slightly wrong because they are so close to the windpipe. Why do such useless things cause such
         annoyance?! They're also as spectacularly ugly as the famous blob fish.

spectacularly ugly blob fish.

TWO] Sometimes you just don't grow up: On Saturday I will be going to the Black Country Living Museum with
          my family, not because we've hijacked a Year 1 school trip and not because I left something there when
          I was seven. No, we are going because it is my birthday and I bloody love that place. Anywhere with a
          Victorian sweet shop, fish and chip shop and bakery wins my heart. Anywhere with those three things
          plus the rest of an entire Victorian village wins my attention aswell. Sometimes the best way to
          understand something is to be thrown in to it , which is exactly what the Black Country Living Museum
          does. Short of seeing Dr Sam Beckett's Ziggy or the Dr's time-travelling postbox, you could be excused for
          thinking that you'd been on some bizarre Back To The Future-esque trip. The moment you step in to the
          village [which has been re-constructed almost brick-for-brick to its original form], you are immersed into
          the life of a Victorian villager in the middle of the industrial hub of Britain. Ever wondered what school was
          like in those days? NO NEED TO WONDER, just step into a lesson and spell a word wrongly so you can
          sit in the corner with a dunces hat on. Did you also know that boiled Victorian sweets were often made
          from beetles? I did, because I've been told SEVEN TIMES [the amount of times I have been to this place]
          and each time bought at least two bags of the sugary goodies. So now, on the [sort of] eve of my
          25th birthday, I am again looking forward to stepping back in time, learning a few things and stuffing my
          face with lardy chips, loaves of bread and bags of sugar. For the first time though, i'll be old enough to go
          into the pub. Now that is an achievement.
This is how happy I am going to be

Unfortunately I am told that the weather this weekend will leave much to be desired.
But that's OK, because I can eat sweets inside and Snobs is also indoors. Can I just point out that after at least
seven years of going to this club, I have only just realised they have a website.

LOTS OF LOVE
STANLEY

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