STANLEY SAYS: SHARPEN UP YEAH

TODAY I learnt that even Mondays can be warm and sunny; but apart from that, I learnt that:

ONE] There is a sharpener that removes vegetable peel: Ever thought "This pencil sharpener is great; I'm going
to invent one that peels vegetables!", No? Me neither. WHY HAVEN'T we thought of this? It seems like
the most genius plan ever. "Hello parsnip, you won't get the better of me today!" That is until you realise
that not all vegetables are shaped like pencils. Take the humble potato. That is definitely not going into
the sharpener. The exotic aubergine; that would [sadly] get obliterated.

Thanks Daily Mail.

All things said, I would definitely buy one and try it out because basically I am a sucker for anything that

has been newly invented. ANYTHING.

TWO] The YEAH YEAH YEAHS are in London: Yes, the YYYs are playing Islington Academy tonight and

somehow I only found out two minutes ago. When was this all arranged? I demand to speak to the
tour manager! In all seriousness, If you are going then don't forget that tonight is ridiculously warm and
sweaty so mix your drinks with interludes of water. I could have done with a rendition of Date With The
Night today aswell. In the meantime, if there any great gigs coming up that I have somehow missed,
please let me know.