ONE] It is completely acceptable for chimps to have ice cream for breakfast: I'm not sure how many of you have
ever had the [dis]pleasure of being dragged to Twycross Zoo, but to give you an idea, a gorilla slamming
itself into the glass of an enclosure as big as a box room then proceeding to poo on the glass is a normal
thing. I'm not sure why I was then so surprised to hear that after having escaped their enclosure [naturally],
some chimps at the zoo were lured back in with fizzy drinks and ice cream. Did I read this right? I some
burning questions:
a] How do those chimps know what fizzy drinks and ice cream are?
b] Why is there nobody at Twycross zoo sacking the chimp nutritionist?!
c] Are Twycross Zoo single-handedly destroying evolution?
I understand that they somehow had to be lured back into their enclosure, but the fact that they reacted
the minute the junk food was in sight is a pretty bizarre and frightening thought. Either way, what
they clearly failed to remember is that fizzy drinks and ice cream make the consumer [I can't believe I can't
just write 'person'] hyper. So if they were energetic enough to break down their barriers before they
escaped, I'm pretty sure they'll be able to manage it again, just much easier. Awkward.
I don't think i'd be surprised if they had
'Fatty Fridays' at the zoo. May as well go the whole hog and
'Fatty Fridays' at the zoo. May as well go the whole hog and
order them pizzas.
TWO] You can go clubbing before you go to work: And I don't even mean at all-nighters. That is if you
a] live in or around the Shoredtich area,
b] are into that sort of thing, or
c] have enough energy to have a life, then use it all up 'raving' before you've even reached 9am.
Synical I may sound, but I actually think this is a good idea! Why the hell not? I mean, I probably won't
go because I'm the kind of person who can't go onto the dance floor and bust-a-move without the aid of
go because I'm the kind of person who can't go onto the dance floor and bust-a-move without the aid of
my rum-suit [This suit is an invisible suit,[created by rum, that has a big red button on it reading:
'CONFIDENCE BOOST. PRESS HERE']. However after watching this video on the BBC website I have
become aware that there are a lot of people who don't need the rum suit and who can go from pillow to
become aware that there are a lot of people who don't need the rum suit and who can go from pillow to
full-on-rave-mode in ten minutes. Admirable.
Picture from the BBC website
The Morning Glory producers [that's funny] state that there will be opportunities to have massages and
drink healthy, non-alcoholic smoothies. Like the sound of this? More details HERE. And as they say, get
ready to 'rave your way into the day!'
THREE] Simon Cowell has managed to get an actual lady pregnant.
love
whatstanleysays@gmail.com
No comments:
Post a Comment