My top three new nuggets of information are that:
ONE] George Lamb looks more delicious in real life, if that is possible. Eye contact was exchanged, but that's
about it. I never really stood a chance when I was surrounded by:
a] screaming middle-aged women and
b] really really perfectly formed models..
STILL, a free fashion show was enjoyed by me (and the two startled girls at the pub who I gave my goodie
bag to) then on to two free gigs, one at the Sound Bar to see Birmingham's Arcadian Kicks and all-round
nice-guys (and girl) superstars TANTRUMS, and another at the O2 to see a friend play bass for Jonny-look
at-my-tight-jeans Borrell, which leads me nicely on to the second thing I learnt this weekend.
They did actually come out in lingerie, not standard underwear. Models 1: Stan 0
TWO] The O2 should be called the 'Oh Dear'. Although it boasts an unfaultable sound-system, something which
I would argue could make or break a band, i really fail to see any other redeeming factor for this
monstrosity of a building which boasts not one but two entrances (w0w). The drinks were burning holes in
my pockets before I even bought them, the lighting would have been OK if you were partially blind and the
ambiance was that of a badly planned school disco. It's fine though 'cause the DJ was lovin' it.
It is NOT however OK to:
a] stroke my hair repeatedly whilst I am waiting to order drinks at a bar, then imply that I look like a
vampire by asking if I ever go out during the day. I am standing alone at the bar because I'm trying
to get the barmaid's attention, not because I want to be petted like a kitten.
b] girate to the Arctic Monkey's dancefloor song whilst giving me the eye. If I wanted to vom I would
have downed a bottle of sambucca thanks.
'Oh Deer' This would probably make them 1oo% cooler.
THREE] No amount of forrest will start a bonfire in a garden if:
a] it is damp.
b] it is covered in damp leaves.
c] it is therefore clearly d a m p.
I maintain that adding salt DID help the situation, albeit for about three minutes. Note: it is probably not worth smelling like you've been trying to smoke yourself to death for a tiny bit of flame. It really isn't going to heat six pretty cold people. Stick to huddling/drinking spirits/staying by a real fire, inside. Silly Stan.
If only it was this big. ''That's what she said''
ANYWAY
I do feel more knowledgeable now which is great.
I'm pretty sure you do too.