HOLIDEGU

SO this week, by my lack of posting, you've probably gathered that I have learnt almost nothing, except for the fact that my legs have their own brain somewhere. You'll be happy to know that after three days I can now walk properly! It is a little bit tough going down staircases after a day at work but we're getting there. On top of this I have also learnt that:

ONE] Holidays are the best thing in the world ever: As my trip to Disneyworld [no need to judge] approaches, I
         am beginning to realise just how important/exciting days off are. Take this bank holiday. We have been
         given a Friday and a Monday off, the two days I always prefer to remove from my working week, giving us
         two four-week days.Over Easter No.1 [I'll celebrate Easter again this year on 5th May along with every
         other Greek or Russian person who likes to eat/drink] I intend to sleep, eat and do fun things. But the
         biggie is in a FEW WEEKS [i've been waiting an entire year to say that] when I get to wave at Mickey
         [mouse] and have some waffles with Donald [duck]. Again, the same goals apply minus the sleep bit,
         which I will be replacing with more of each of the other things. This week has seen me feel less than
         'up to scratch' for a number of reasons, so I intend to basically re-charge like a Duracell bunny on
         steroids ready for the next stint before the big trip. Basically don't waste your weekend:

I'll  have my fingers in my ears

shouting 'la la la' until i can see this view

for real

TWO] Degus can pose too you know: I know you already know, but this week I knew more. Apaprently
          Chili was getting jealous that Holly was taking photos of the babies, so she kept edging towards the
          camera and pulled this face:

Don't tell me that this girl doesn't know

what she's doing.

And this is a classic photobomb. I mean look

As always I want to know what YOU have learnt this week.
Send over a short video of yourself telling me "THIS WEEK I LEARNT THAT" to whatstanleysays@gmail.com and you will be featured in the next post.

Enjoy your weekend, do Easter-y things and come back with a chocolate addiction.

Lots of love

STANLEY

KNEE GNAW KNEE GNAW

TODAY is a Monday, and what I have learnt is that:

ONE] My legs have a mind of their own: Often nicknamed 'Bambi' or 'Scatter', my legs and brain seem to have
         gained quite the reputation. After stepping out of a cab and walking for five minutes, my legs decided
         they'd had enough and went on to completely fold, ensuring I was in a prime position to smash my
         knees onto the pavement, along with the palms of my hands, naturally. I didn't quite realise how much this
         had hurt until I realised I had a ten minute [now twenty minute] walk home. Hobbling like a newborn deer
         who has has never walked, I finally made my way home trying very hard to ignore the fact that I
         had caused this 'scene' in front of a busy Old Street/Barbican crowd [with one particularly concerned
         passer-by looking like she'd just witnessed an exorcism or something]. My knees hurt quite a bit as a
         result [no surprises there], but there's also this weird sensation like someone continuously has their hands
         on my knee caps pushing them the wrong way. Very bizarre and slightly uncomfortable.

Doesn't look that bad yet, but I can safely say

my left knee cap is not usually that..large..

TWO] Burger and Lobster lives up to its hype: I didn't think i'd be saying this, but this Saturday saw me have the
          best burger I have ever had [holiday burgers included], punctuated by bits of fluffy white lobster and the
          most moreish skinny chips you could imagine [I'm normally a chip snob and only ever go for fat chips]. 

          The prices? £20 might seem a bit on the steep side, that is until you realise what you get for this amount
          is either:

                 a] a gigantic burger, chips and salad

                 b] a rather large lobster, chips and salad, or

                 c] a meaty lobster brioche, chips and salad

         and not just any old burger and lobster either. The meat doesn't taste like ash or blood, but is perfectly
         seasoned and spiced; the lobster can be done various ways, the most appealing seeming to be the
         grilled which didn't disappoint. The fact that these are the only items on the imaginary

         menu [your waiter is your menu] says to me that the restaurant knows its produce, keeps the ingredients

         fresh, knows what its forte is and sticks to it. The only qualm I have is that you can't book a table at any
         of its four locations. You arrive, write your name on a list, and wait to be called. You will be given an
         estimated time but be prepared to wait a while. We put our names down at six on a Saturday evening to be
         told that there would be a table for us two hours later. We were lucky in that one of our party was staying
         in a hotel around the corner, so just be prepared. I have it under good authority however that on weekdays

         before 6pm it is relatively easy to walk in and be seated at a table almost at once. Believe me, its
         worth it if only to see your friends wear a bib.

For some reason none of us took 'bib' photos
[I wonder why] but here's one
that gives you the gist.

STANLEY is still after your 'THIS WEEK I LEARNT' videos so please send them in to:

whatstanleysays@gmail.com (NEW EMAIL ADDRESS)

love

STANLEY

GIRLS ALOUD MAKE TWITTER PROUD. I THINK.

WELL blow me down its Thursday again, which is basically like the Friday of our blog week. I've been letting you know what i've learnt this week as I go along [which has probably surfaced the fact that I don't learn a whole lot] so today's blog is going to be based on things I have learnt today which are that :

ONE] Girls Aloud are NO MORE: That's right my little pop pooches; one of the greatest girl bands of our time
         [and by band I mean 'group' who don't write their own music but sing and prance around very well] have
         split up after their widely anticipated 12-day 10-year reunion tour. A mouthful? Maybe, but they deserve it!
         I have always been transparent about that fact that I thought Girls Aloud were great. From the moment I
         saw Sound of the Underground on MTV during the school holidays with a can of Pledge in my hand and
         a duster in the other I knew they were onto something as big as Fat Joe's belly [pretty damn big]. I can't
         say that I saw their potential right after their names were announced on Popstars: The Rivals; actually I
         thought they looked very mismatched. What on earth were the producers playing at?! Either way, waited
         [without bated breath] until their debut which was no less than a music-related miracle. Matching pink
         puffer jackets and skin-tight leggings with slicked back ponytail hair? 'What's not to like' I ask you?
         I am sure you will join me in remembrance of Girls Aloud [I never thought that name made any sense]
         on this said day, thinking of all their 'great bits' [no pun intended] as you look at the gifs on this blog called
         discopop directory which are nothing short of magnificent.

If my cousins, my mom, my sister and I were in a band
this is what we'd look like and
we'd be called 'Koumi unKut'. Or something.

TWO] Its Twitter's Birthday: In all the excitement of the last few years I had forgotten just at what point Twitter
          tweeted its way into my life; but that, my friends, was a mere seven years ago! To put that into

          perspective, when you were seven you were probably using bits of cut up paper with words on to help you

          with spelling homework. In these few years Twitter has achieved a major status in every existing sector of
          life in general, even welcoming The Pope to is platform [does The Pope have a capital 'The'?]. People have
          learnt to express exactly what they are feeling in a mere 140 characters [if you use Tweetdeck you're
          cheating] which, if you think about it, is pretty much nothing in comparison to the ramblings you find on
          Facebook. If you're not using it, i'd say you should sign up TODAY [and when better than on a birthday?]

          if you:

               a] like breaking news and quick, live updates on pretty much any topic,

               b] like sending messages to famous people because you think you could be great friends [I do not do
                   this by the way]

               c] spend a lot of your time waiting for things like buses, trains or spaceships [its great for killing time]

In the birthday spirit he's a snapshot of STANLEY's Twitter.

FOLLOW FOLLOW FOLLOW

THREE] Degus move a little like Mr Bean: I don't know about you, but I see a pattern emerging. Mr Bean is
             hilarious because of his little bizarre noises and the way he moves, with a sort of starting and stopping

             action to his..actions. Don't quite understand what I mean?

They could have their own sitcom. Like The Office, but in a
cage and with no talking. Or jokes.

And this is a shot after their sitcom becomes

very popular and they're all famous

and being papped.

This weekend sees me going to/seeing:

Burger and Lobster

The Shard

Quartermaine's Terms [with ROWAN ATKINSON MY FRIENDS]

I'll probably learn a lot but SEND ME VIDEO CLIPS OF THINGS YOU HAVE LEARNT THIS WEEK TO

stavrinikoumi@gmail.com

love

STANLEY

BIG FAT WASTE OF ENERGY

TODAY I learnt that some days you almost don't learn anything. Up until five minutes ago I hadn't learnt a thing. Everything I encountered today I already knew, apart from that fact that:

ONE] I don't understand energy bill leaflets: Why is everything written in pence? Nobody walks into a shop and
         says, "ooh the chicken kiev is on sale today; its only THREE HUNDRED PENCE". This achieves two
         things:
              a] It makes it difficult to quickly relate this to pricings your brain is used to calculating in split
                  seconds, for example: 'this is not that much cheaper than a whole chicken', and
              b] It makes things seem considerably more expensive than they actually are. If my bill is
                  seven million pence a quarter i'd like to hear it from someone important and not a dull little leaflet.
           Tomorrow some lucky person in customer services at this well-known energy company is going think
           they've been phoned by a five year old. Sorry in advance, because obviously you're reading this. And I
           don't have a 'thing' for chicken by the way.

Q: How much energy does it take to power these two
Stormtroopers?

A: NONE. There were men inside the outfits.

Tomorrow is Thursday.
SEND ME SHORT VIDEOS of your beautiful selves telling me what you've learnt this week and i'll try to feature you in the post. stavrinikoumi@gmail.com

love
STANLEY

THE STROKES - COMEDOWN MACHINE

I must admit, although quite excited to hear this album I was still a little apprehensive. I barely remember anything from the last and lost a bit of interest since it seemed The Strokes had too. Imagine my elation when what hits me is something akin to the disco-funk of our fathers’ eras. Unlike before, this is not just The Strokes for the sake of being The Strokes, this is new music in its own right with a Strokes twang. Comedown Machine is very clean, no straggly threads, and very different to the incessant-guitar-drums combo, a clear signature of theirs. The opening track Tap Out is a prime example of a Strokes-circa-2^nd album-dampened-mid-70s funk-mashup. It sort of smacks you in the face and wakes you up a bit, almost so the band forcibly make you listen to the album with syringed ears. Track 4, Welcome to Japan, definitely stands out as being one of the most revolutionary of the bunch with a feel similar to that of the Rapture's In the Grace of Our Love record. It'll make you want to do the three-step-one-clap-turn around move, the kind they do at barn dances, but with a bit of a disco twist. Bizarely the song that sounds most Strokes-esque doesn’t really sound like the strokes at all; 80s Comedown Machine has the true-to-form dampened fuzz of the Casablancas vocals but with a very guitar rock-god intro that uncontrollably forced me to sing the lyrics to American Woman by Lenny Kravitz. As quickly as you’re brought up, there’s time for a tea break at the half-way point, fittingly named ’50 50’. A bit like a grade 3 piano exercise with some winding vocals, it gives you time to take in what you've heard and prepare for the rest, a bit like a palette-cleansing sorbet, only less icey. Following this are a few revved-up guitar spotlights, just picking the pace up before the finale, during which you could be excused for thinking you’re at a beach-side bar in Monaco in the late 60s. The vocals are just as drunk as you feel, swirling round and round almost stealing a melody that could be played by a muted trumpet and not feel out of place. The song is not quite pronounced enough to understand what the lyrics are, but calming enough so you don’t care; that is until the last few seconds where you hear Quentin Tarantino ride past you on a horse. The Strokes are back ladies and gentleman, and this time they really want to be.

Here's a shot from their One Way Trigger video.

Interesting.

Here's some bromance and cheesy smiles.

And finally a delightful still from their

'All The Time' video. Ahhh

You can stream Comedown Machine NOW on PITCHFORK right HERE

STANLEY

JUSTIFIED JUBBLIES

Its only Monday but today I have learnt that:

ONE] I could 'justify' my way into spending a week in a hole if I wanted: Whilst this might seem pretty drastic,
         today I was told that I have the justification powers of a 'heroin addict'. Not very flattering, but completely
         true. If I want something that I know is bad for me, all I need to do is find a few reason why I deserve it
         and bam - it's there. I won't go into too many details but tonight's situation did involve dough and cheese.

TWO] Apparently men love cleavage like women love shoes: I know this because it was mentioned on Seinfeld
          and is therefore a fact. Obviously this is a sweeping generalisation - I, for example, only 'like' shoes,
          whereas I 'love' sugary strawberry laces and doughy-based pizza circles; but I too will find it very difficult
          to not look at a cleavage when it is well and truly out. Its like staring at someone who has a giant piece of
          snot dangling out of their nose; its not seducing you, but it most definitely has your attention. I would say
          then that men have it far worse, as they have to deal with this two-pronged beast without seeming

          lecherous. How do you stop looking at something that a] begs to be looked at, like a foreign piece of snot,

          and b] you find actually quite alluring? Thankfully I won't ever know as I am not male. Interesting thought
          of the day there.

Here's a photo of some Christmas puddings from last year.

Don't forget to send over your clips of YOURSELVES telling me what you've learnt so far this week and begin it 'This week I have learnt' [surprise surprise]. stavrinikoumi@gmail.com

LOVE STANLEY

LICHTENSTEIN EXHIBITION, THE TATE

GOODNESS me it is only Sunday and Stanley's at it again! My view is that I may aswell detail things I've learnt on the actual day I've learnt them, thus giving you extra Stanley time; please, try and stay calm. So without further ado, today I have learnt that:

ONE] Lichtenstein was great: Today saw me going to the Lichtenstein exhibition at the Tate. Whilst I
         believe that £15 per person is too much in this day and age to see even diamond encrusted pieces of art,
         thankfully we had been given a Tate membership card which allowed us to see the exhibition for free.
         Obviously that put me in a good mood, that and the fact that today I also found a long lost Pizza
         Hut gift card with £15 on it [clearly everything these day is £15], so I went into the exhibition with a happy,
         open mind. I don't know whether this goes for anyone else, but normally when I view one of these things I
         find myself walking around thinking 'I'm sure they have a 2 year old in a room at the back somewhere
         managing a conveyor belt of their own scribbles' and looking at walls trying to fit in with the
         people who stand in front of every exhibit with a pensive face, nodding in some sort of secret, mutual
         understanding. Not today my friends! Today I can actually say I a] enjoyed and, most importantly,
         b] understood what I saw. Lichtenstein, heavily influenced by 'comic strips, advertising and mass culture
         imagery' seemed to appeal to everyone. For those who respected the more classical forms, he created his
         own interpretations, namely of works by Pablo Picasso and Henri Matisse; for those who prefer to have
         artwork jump out at them, Lichtenstein used bold colours and comic-book imagery with the occasional
         well-known disney character thrown in. A good barometer of how accessibly an artist is, for me, is a look
         at the children at the exhibition. If they're either:
            a] having tantrums, 
            b] standing firmly and silently in a corner in protest, or
            c] running around using the the ropes surrounding the artist's work as catapult leavers
         I know i'll probably get rather bored too. If however they're asking questions and even copying some of the
         drawings onto bits of paper, I know i'll most likely enjoy the exhibition too. What does this tell me [apart
         from the fact that i'm clearly still a child]? It tells me that if an artist has the power to harness beings with
         the shortest attention spans, they've done their job. Today i heard and saw both of these things and,
         surprise surprise, I enjoyed the entire thing. To be honest we have two pieces of Lichtenstein art work in
         our flat already, so I was sort of prepared, but if you have the opportunity to go because some lovely
         person has offered to take you as a treat, I would take them up on the offer. Its probably one of the most
         'understandable' things you'll see at the Tate!

They're currently sitting there making our
keyboard look a bit cooler.

       If you're interested, the Lichtenstein exhibition will run until 27th May which includes a workshop, lecture
       and conference.

Maybe I'll learn something new tomorrow.

WHO KNOWS?

STANLEY

HABEMUS POSTAM

TODAY'S post is going to be short and sweet, like a mini refresher bar but less refreshing, due to some technical difficulties. It seems computers and 'connections' in general just do not sit well with my aura. Lord knows why. Anyway, here's what I learnt this week:


ONE] The world has a new Pope: I say 'the world' and not 'Catholics' as the Pope in this day and age has
          become a public figure. Anyone who has merch dedicated to them [people were apparently walking round
          the Vatican with 'HABEMUS PIZZA' t-shirts] is as public as the toilets at a train station. My little snag is
          that the whole process happened a bit too quickly. One minute there wasn't a Pope; twenty four hours
          later there was one! I have it on good authority [from my mother, who told me she had done a whole host
          of Pope-related research expecting the whole shebang to last a tad longer] that the process has been
          known to last up to a month. That is an entire month spent in one large room with hundreds of other old
          men on limited toilet breaks. I found out on Twitter of all places with a snapshot of Pope Francis I's rather
          solemn-looking face. Surely you'd be a tiny bit happier? Apparently he looked slightly bemused by the
          whole affair, understandably; lets just hope he is a bit more animated during the various speeches he has
          to give. Also he doesn't look that old to me, considering he is seventy six, so it looks as though he'll be in
          for a rather long stint. That is of course unless he too resigns rather suspiciously.

Here's a photo I took in Lake Como, which is in
Italy, which is where the Pope is
right now. Sort of.

TWO] Other people learn things too: This probably shouldn't have been such a surprise to me but as you may

          [and definitely should] know I am now asking you all to send me short videos of yourselves telling me

          something [or things] you have learnt during the week. I think I was slightly unclear as to what I was after,

          but here's two things Shaun Hill learnt this week:

          SHAUN: 'This week I learnt that dogs are amazing, especially my dog: SHAUN'S DOGGIE

                        and the My Bloody Valentine are loud: MBV LIIIIIVE '

         Yes, the lucky so and so a] has the cutest little dog and b] got to see MBV live, probably playing songs
         from their new album, probably playing some from the old ones. Either way, having recently discovered that
         this band are brilliant [slow on the uptake by about twenty years there], I am suitably jealous.
         If you would like to send me a video of YOURSELF telling me what you have learnt [plus any other
         additional links, such as the ones Shaun sent me, please email stavrinikoumi@gmail.com so I can feature
         you in next week's blog!

Here's a picture of Shaun on a beach wearing
some snazzy sunglasses. Hi Shaun.

THREE] Degus like to huddle: I think I learnt this last week and the week before, but still, they love a good
             huddle! Here are some more photos of Holly's snuggly degus:

This is a particular fav because I am convinced
that the degu on the left is smiling
for the camera.

This is my favourite degu. I think she is
probably the one hiding in all
the photos.

              If you think you'd like to look after two or more of these degus [they need to live in pairs as a minimum
              otherwise they get lonely and die of a broken heart :( ] please send an email to the address previously
              mentioned and I will pass on the message. 

This weekend see us WITH THE INTERNET proving that I can live without it [out of office hours] for eleven entire days Who bloody knew?

I hope you all have a really knowledgeable week and send lots of lovely videos telling me exactly what you have learnt.

LOVE

STANLEY

JOLLY LITTLE FLAT

ANOTHER Thursday, but this time we are not in the minus numbers. Fair enough, there's a bit of mist and greyness still about, but I'm a little excited by the fact that I don't have to dress like an eskimo to get to work in the mornings. Enough digression; here's what i've learnt:

ONE] Humans need sleep: I mean obviously this is a scientific fact, but I realised to what extent this is true this

         weekend after my boyfriend and I moved into our new flat. We had a lot of help which was wonderful, but

         four days later I am still getting home from work and trying to convince myself that:

                        since naps were OK during the day at Uni, they're definitely still OK now.

         Either way, moving your life into a new place takes longer than the day on which you physically move but

         is absolutely, one hundred percent worth the sleepiness. I haven't had naked tea or sung loudly in the

         shower yet, but they'll probably happen soon. What I have realised is that I have become ridiculously

         house proud. Any spare minute and I am polishing here and sweeping there. I am basically turning into my

         grandma [completely skipped a generation there]. All these little touch ups aren't really helping my 

         sleep-and-rest-catchup so this weekend will mostly see me [carrying an amp across London then]

         sleeping.

Unfortunately we don't have a garden,

otherwise we'd be doing this a lot.

[Obviously really clutching at straws with
my photos. I'll make an effort to actually take some soon]

TWO] Jolly Rancher Hard Candy is deadly: Like most things described as 'deadly', I don't actually mean deadly.
          What I do mean however is that just two of these tiny sweets have had the ability to:

                    a] make me want to buy an entire room full of them, and

                    b] make me want to burn every existing packet.

          The first one I tried was a blue raspberry. It was delicious, tasting exactly like my favourite blue ice lollies
          minus the ice. The second one I tried was the Watermelon. To my absolute DELIGHT this tasted like
          that banana flavoured antibiotic medicine you used to have when you were about five years old, or Midori
          to those of you who have grown up. I instantly went back for one more during some kind of sugar-induced
          coma that befell me; but before I had the chance to put it to my lips i suddenly felt incredibly sick. That's
          right. Two tiny weeny sweeties had enough sugar in to bring me down [bearing in mind I used to eat a
          packet of pear drops a day]. I therefore urge you not to be fooled by their alluring, almost neon colours and
          "Put the Sweet Down".

This photo is fuzzy. Like my brain is after this sweetie.

THREE] Degu Update: Degus don't give a shizzle: They really don't. If you were out running and a little baby was

             in your way, you'd most likely take another route around the obstacle. Not degus. They think of babies

             more like invincible stunt men. Here's a little video of exactly what I have explained:

               As you can see, the babies are getting bigger and more and more entertaining. I'll definitely miss them
               when they go!

This week I have a request: Beginning next week I intend to post videos of people telling me one thing they learnt during their week. These videos need to be a few seconds long [maximum ten but i'll review the situation if they are longer] and you obviously need to not mind if I put them on the internet...because my blog is on the internet.

Please send all videos to stavrinikoumi@gmail.com

I look forward to feeling enriched by next Thursday!

LOTS OF LOVE

STANLEY

p.s someone just ate one of those Jolly Rancher sweeties and the smell nearly forced me to cause a scene at my desk, if you know what I mean. Just don't do it.