BOOKS ETC

THERE hasn't entirely been much to learn since the last time, but what I can say is that:

ONE] I forget I like to read: Which sounds a bit silly really. I think I go through stages where I get so involved in
         a brilliant book that when I'm done I need some air/a social life and banish the 'b' word completely. What
         happens is I tend to leave them so long that my grammar becomes almost non-existant and my
         vocabulary bank shrinks to the size of Dita Von Teese's waist. 

thanks tumblr

         By this point someone mentions the word 'book' and I remember that [actually] I'd quite like to read
         and scour the one shelf of 'library' in our flat for something I've never noticed.The last book I read was this:

Please don't worry. It's a book about Punk.

I am not contemplating anything

untoward.

          This was a gift from my boyfriend who knew that I had a [passing] interest in this era, some of the bands

          and their leather jackets [of which I have one which dwarfs me], but also knew that at the same time I
          knew hardly anything about. The genius thing about this book is that it is entirely formed of quotes from

          the bands in question. Ever wondered just how many random, unrelated words Patti Smith can get into
          a sentence? Or guessed at just how injured Iggy Pop was on that night? Then this is the book for you.

          It comes highly recommended by the two whole people in our household.

          

          After one of those really long breaks, I have found myself reading something on the opposite end of the
          literary spectrum - a story about the elderly and their antics:

Or rather a one hundred year old man and

his antics

           This book written by the Swedish genius that is Jonas Jonasson [i'd never heard of him before] is so
           laid back it's practically..laid back. The style in which it is written allows for a ridiculously easy read

           and although i'm only just under half the way through, i'm already finding it difficult to put down [i've

           become a lunchtime-reader]. Don't be fooled by the subject matter either. Remember, how much would
           you care about rules and authority if you were a hundred years old?

STANLEY

whatstanleysays@gmail.com

         

RIDEY RIDEY

IT'S been three days but i've learnt a few things:

ONE] There's always a new place to go to: On Saturday we visited family in Northampton, during which time we
         travelled pretty much round every little village in Northamptonshire. I don't think i've ever seen this many
         trees/dogs/skate parks in seven hours, ever. On this trip we:

Rode some bikes [that you're not supposed to ride

sitting down]

Took Bonnie and Clyde for a walk...

Did some bmx tricks [that I learnt have names such as

'cancan' and 'fufanu']...

Played rugby with Mollie...

And went home.

    There was only one rainy thunderstorm and we were safely tucked up inside stuffing our faces with Indian
    food at that point. We're all very achey today, but it was completely worth it.

TWO] You've been listening to my new tune: So thanks. Here it is for anyone else who wants to see what i've

          been up to:

Lets hope the weather lasts a bit longer.

Have a wonderful week.

Love

STANLEY

whatstanleysays@gmail.com

GEORGIE PORGIE GOLDER AND SKY

THURSDAY again. Not a scorcher, but i'll gladly take the warmth that we're left with. I've not learnt much since
I came back from the beach, apart from:

ONE] The Prince has a name: Thankfully, because we were all getting a bit worried. And what a name it is! A
         definite power name fit for a future King. Other than that there are a whole load of Greek men and boys
         getting a bit excited about their names finally becoming 'fashionable', a new baby cousin of mine sporting
         the same name [minus the Louis and Cambridge]. But these young men and babies will be separated from
         the new Prince on account of the VII that will be assigned to his name once he reigns. King George VII
         sounds beautifully historic, thrown back centuries into the United Kingdom's past, whilst 'Louis' brings
         it right back up again in to the present. On a side note, why are all the bars in London shut for private
         events? Are they naming ceremony after parties? Has the Queen hired out every bar in Shoreditch?

Thanks msn. AWW BABBA.

TWO] The heat helps: Yes, it the heat helps many things, but mainly my songwriting. I hadn't realised this
          before, but will hopefully make the most of it whilst the weather lasts. Shameless plugging, but since
          it's my own blog I may aswell:

I hope to do some shows soon.

Love
STANLEY
whatstanleysays@gmail.com

SANDY CAMBER PEBBLES

TODAY is Monday the Hottest of July, continuing what seems to be this year's glorious Summer. Times like these allow for more adventurous weekends, and this Sunday [after a bout of bad tummies] I learnt that:

ONE] You can buy a bikini, wear a bikini and use a bikini all in the UK: This might not come as a shock to those
          brave enough to don the swimwear when the temperature gets to 15oC, but for me, it has to be so hot
          I'm contemplating nudity before I reach for the bikini. Buy a bikini here and wear it..here? YES, it IS
          possible, meaning that it'll see the light of day before having to do a trip on a plane. This Sunday was the
          perfect example, as we made our way to Camber Sands, East Sussex. 
             Before this I'd only ever been to the beach in the UK once, and that was in Newcastle and definitely not
          above 10oC. This, therefore, was as shocking to me as David Dickinson's 2013 tan. On the way to the
          beach we were driven through fields only touched by sheep and down tiny country lanes [the bus was
          going at least 80mph]. On arrival we were met by the resident seagulls and a tide that was turning in by
          the minute, allowing for people to set up camp [technically] in the middle of the sea. The temperature of
          the air must have been in the 30s, and the temperature of the sea must have been in the -30s so I only
          managed a thigh-high dip before practically running back to the pebbles. After this we decided to go on a
          four mile walk [we were not forced into this] back to Rye, the nearest town, and on this walk we
          saw:

The end of the beach...

Lots of sheep..

A pretty cool skate park..

..and a weather vane.

I would say that if you can catch some good weather and you're suffering from the holiday blues, try and make it to one of the UK's lovely beaches. They're dotted around [obviously, because we're an island] so there's at least

one that's less than two hours away from most people. Either way, make the most of it!

Love

STANLEY

whatstanleysays@gmail.com

RIHANNA'S GONE GREY

TODAY is Thursday, and what a scorcher it is! I just popped outside and believe me, it is ten times hotter than it
was at lunch. EXCELLENT. In the meantime, I have learnt that:

ONE] Rihanna's gone grey: When I heard this I instantly thought 'Brilliant! Now my grey hair might be slightly
         cool'. Then I thought, 'Hang on, how did that happen overnight?'. In actual fact, Rihanna has [for some
         bizarre reason I'm sure] dyed her hair grey; and I don't mean the bleached blondey-grey that was in fashion
         two years ago, I mean actual real-life grey.

Thanks Daily Mail. However many poses she pulls,
it would look much better if the rest of her had aged
at the same time.

         You never know; If this catches on I may never have to dye my hair again! It could go that way. Or it could
         very much go the other way.

TWO] Jeans don't work at work..in the heat: And I have learnt this today. Ladies-if you are ever tempted, please,
          just stop yourself. That much denim has not been made to stick to your legs for eight hours. Also
          dresses and skirts were invented for a reason. Saying that, I did see a lady in a LEATHER TOP yesterday
          on her way to what was sure to be the most hellish day at work ever. Don't wear a leather top at work
          either; but if you don't have anything else and it is literally a battle between the leather or the denim, go
          for the denim and install some miniature fans up the legs.

Nice try Asos, but that is still denim with leather, and therefore

not allowed.

The weekend is all set to be a scorcher apparently. NO SURPRISE THERE THEN.

I need to buy one of those hats with the straws attached so I can have a constant flow of icey water straight into my mouth.

love

STANLEY

whatstanleysays@gmail.com

SHARPEN UP YEAH

TODAY I learnt that even Mondays can be warm and sunny; but apart from that, I learnt that:

ONE] There is a sharpener that removes vegetable peel: Ever thought "This pencil sharpener is great; I'm going
         to invent one that peels vegetables!", No? Me neither. WHY HAVEN'T we thought of this? It seems like
         the most genius plan ever. "Hello parsnip, you won't get the better of me today!" That is until you realise
         that not all vegetables are shaped like pencils. Take the humble potato. That is definitely not going into
         the sharpener. The exotic aubergine; that would [sadly] get obliterated. 

Thanks Daily Mail.

        All things said, I would definitely buy one and try it out because basically I am a sucker for anything that

        has been newly invented. ANYTHING.

TWO] The YEAH YEAH YEAHS are in London: Yes, the YYYs are playing Islington Academy tonight and

          somehow I only found out two minutes ago. When was this all arranged? I demand to speak to the
          tour manager! In all seriousness, If you are going then don't forget that tonight is ridiculously warm and
          sweaty so mix your drinks with interludes of water. I could have done with a rendition of Date With The
          Night today aswell. In the meantime, if there any great gigs coming up that I have somehow missed,
          please let me know.

From zimbio.com

Karen O is so COOL.

For the rest of the week: Sun.

Flipflops don't constitute appropriate footwear in any social situation.

Love

STANLEY

whatstanleysays@gmail.com

SHARDY-HELL!

WELCOME back Thursday, and haven't you been an eventful one. Today I have learnt that:

ONE] Someone has hacked into the Vogue.co.uk website: I'm not sure what I imagined when I heard this, but
         I certainly didn't imagine what I saw: 

        No, you're not going mad; yes, these are dinosaurs wearing wigs and hats. Familiar with this song?

        

       If not, the cheat to get the dinosaurs speeding across your page is:

UP - UP - DOWN - DOWN - LEFT - RIGHT - LEFT - RIGHT - B - A

         Whilst you could probably spend the entire day doing that, please stop for five minutes to learn that:

TWO] Greenpeace climb The Shard: Six brave ladies are fighting for their cause by climbing up The Shard. They
          are protesting against Shell's Arctic drilling and chose this building [aptly modelled on a shard of ice] as
          apparently it sits right in the middle of three of the company's headquarters. You can watch their progress
          live HERE on the Greenpeace website as well sign their petition in order to help them reach their 62,000

          target. One interesting thing to note however is that some of the climbers are ascending WITHOUT
          ASSISTANCE, FIXING SAFETY ROPES AS THEY GO UP THE BULDING. Ok then. Apparently the
          ladies have around 180m left to go and considering they have been doing this since I arrived in the
          office this morning, i have reason to believe that they are made of steel. BEST OF LUCK!

I wonder how long it would actually take to get the hashtag

#shardyhell trending?

THREE] My manky eye is proper manky: Newsflash! It also seems that my left eye is starting to go the same
             way. On calling my GPs office to ask what the hell is going on, I was told that actually, they don't book
             appointments anymore, and the doctor will phone you back then decide whether you need an
             appointment or not. Excuse me? Is this common practice now? What if my eyes are more horrible than
             I think they are, or worse, what If I was lying? I managed to secure a prescription over the phone and
             trotted off to the pharmacy, only to be told that I could just buy the eye gel over the counter.
             After THAT debacle, I have now discovered that I can't even use the gel because it curls up when it
             comes out of the tube and won't stick to the rim of my eyelid. What a disaster!

GoldenEye ointment. Not so Golden. And
nothing like James Bond.

         

               Hopefully this weekend will bring with it some eye-healing surprises, as well as a lovely BBQ in
               31oC heat.

love

STANLEY

whatstanleysays@gmail.com

O FLORIDA

IT may only be Tuesday, but it is also the day I picked up my holiday photos. BRILLIANT, finally something nicer to look at than a manky eye [which is still looking pretty manky by the way]. I still have one camera left to develop, but in the meantime here's a potted history of my trip"

ONE] 

We went to see the ducks. For some reason, the ducks are my favourite. Look at his little FACE.

I particularly liked this one because he was holding candyfloss.

TWO] 

Then we went to the circus

This brass band randomly appeared in the Dumbo area of New Fantasyland.

They were really good, even in 30o heat.

THREE] 

Then I got attacked by toy soldiers. Or
'here is one of the buildings in the Toy Story section of Magic Kingdom'.

FOUR] 

Then we went on some rides.

Here's some tourists in front of one of the best i've ever been on.

FIVE] 

Then we went to the jungle.

The set design of Animal Kingdom is very impressive, and here's some hankies.

SIX] 

The nights were warm and orange.

SEVEN] 

And then we said byebye.

UNTIL NEXT TIME, obviously.

love

STANLEY

whatstanleysays@gmail.com

EYE EYE

TODAY I learnt that I have an eye infection; if Florida gave me nothing, it gave me this (and a whole heap of daydream memories I can't shake). So if you've seen me walking around looking like I shrunk my eye and have been crying for three days straight, this is why:

Pipe down Vogue! There's a queue! NOT.

Lets hope that the eye drops I bought today are stronger than their innocent little name suggests, otherwise bye bye normal-looking face.

Tomorrow you will most likely see some images that don't make you want to vom over your dinner, as I collect my Disneyworld photographs!

Until then, here's a koala bear with conjunctivits:

Love

STANLEY

whatstanleysays@gmail.com

SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER TI-IME

FOR the last ten-ish days I haven't known what day of the week it is (finally), not because I'd been hit on the head but because I was rubbing shoulders with Donald Duck in the Sunny State. As soon as I get my photos
developed I'll follow up with a post, but in the meantime:

ONE] Saturdays are SUNdays too: Thankfully I didn't get a frozen shock on returning to the UK, but what I was
         met with was a beautiful wave of heat that slapped me right in the airconditioned face. I spent Thursday
         and Friday looking and feeling like a zombie but managed to come back to life today, just in time for
         Summer and a trip to Milton Keynes. Contrary to popular belief, MK has some beautiful parks, and what
         makes them even better is the fact that they are completely empty. So, whilst the rest of the world was at
         Hyde Park waiting to watch the Rolling Stones, i was here:

The dinosaurs weren't part of the copied style of

German/American architect Mies van de Rohe, but
every other part of this Buckinghamshire town was.

To keep all of your spirits summery, why not listen to this 30 minute Chic Megamix. It'll save you plenty of time trying to come up with a playlist for your BBQ that won't be half as good.

Apparently tomorrow is going to be even hotter, as well as being the last day of my holiday.

ALL RIGHT!

love

STANLEY

whatstanleysays@gmail.com