TODAY IS MY FRIDAY

AFTER a bout of feeling 'dodgy' i'm nearly back with full force so I can enjoy my long weekend beginning in precisely 10 minutes with a train journey, some Nandos and a viewing of the Diana film [because how can I say
no to my grandma?].

In light of this, here are my top five 'Things I like [so you might also like] to do at the start of an early weekend in a different city':

ONE] Rush to the train station

Photo courtsey of PHOTOBLOG

Even if I have enough time to walk leisurely, I will always

power walk to the station, ignoring the dent in my

battered shoulders on account of my ten bags.

TWO] Sit at the first table seat in carriage 'E'

Photo courtesy of Indian Explorations

Granted, it may not be as luxurious as a seat on this
incredible Indian train, but it is the last carriage before

1st class i.e less walking i.e most people assume

it is still 1st class so keep walking i.e quiet.

THREE] Have a wrap

Photo courtesy of Flickriver

And i'm not talking fi'ty cent.

FOUR] Fall asleep on the train

Photo courtesy of  Lauren O's Blog

This instantly cuts the journey time in half, 

if not more.

FIVE] Crash on any sofa available: in today's case, the cinema

Here's a picture of Poppy, my sister's cat

[sort of] crashing on our sofa.

    As you can see, I have a jam-packed evening ahead of me [minus the falaf wrap, plus Nandos]. Interestingly:

Enjoy yours!
love

STANLEY

whatstanleysays@gmail.com

LOVEBRADORS

THIS weekend taught me that:

ONE] I have a 'puppy' voice: Whenever I'm around babies or little children I always do this stupid, high-pitched
         voice with very, very exaggerated syllables. Well, on saturday I realised that this 'baby voice' is also my
         'puppy voice'. I found myself at the Kettering Vintage rally & Steam Fayre, surrounded by train engines
         and the most amazing vintage cars. What's the first thing I see though? Three labrador puppies, all
         being trained to become invaluable guide dogs. I took one look at the baby of the bunch and fell in love:

You can't really tell here but she was

so hyper. She jumped on me

right before this photo was taken and 

gave me some big, fat, slobbery kisses.

I think you can tell by my face that

it took a while for me to leave.

   I want a puppy as much as I want pizza the day after a night out [a LOT], but unfortunately don't have the time
   or the money; so if you have one and live near Angel, I am your new best friend.

TWO] It is very easy to buy £10 worth of boiled sweets in under five minutes

This is all that is left.

The colours have been toned down.

I have a four-day working week.

PaRtY

Love

STANLEY

[I have 19 Twitter followers. C'monnn make it 20]

whatstanleysays@gmail.com 

WHAT LOAD OF FALAFF

IT is a soggy Thursday with an eerily white sky and I wore a jacket and a cape to work today. Hello Winter! I have to admit, I love Autumn with its scarves and sunglasses so i really hope it appears at some point. Digression aside, today I have learnt that:

ONE] Some people will do anything for attention: The MailOnline managed to somehow shock me again with a
         guest post from one Kate Thompson, a lady who claims she is 'too busy and involved in [her] career as a
         writer to be a traditional, caring wife'. Fair enough, that statement doesn't seem altogether too offensive if
         you omit the word 'caring'. What she fails to establish within the first few sentences is that she lacks
         judgement. Was it a good decision to write an article like this? Not really.
         Rather publicly and in order to receive a response she has written a few things that nearly ruined my lunch:
                a] She implies that working women who care about their husbands and children are indulging in the
                    'subservient partner thing'.
                b] She claims that she only allows intimacy 'on [her husband's] birthdays'. A bit like a dull sex slave.
                c] 'After a day of writing, I feel happy and complete; after a day with the children, I am frazzled' 
                d] The rest of the article.
       I admire her work ethic and think it takes courage, determination and will power to work all hours of the day
       to provide for your family. What I don't understand is why she had to tell all the MailOnline readers
       [the whole of the UK] the details of her marriage/family life and what she expects us to say. As I don't
       have any children I am not really in a position to claim that she is right or wrong, but I do want to give her
       husband a hug.

Photo courtesy of the MailOnline.

TWO] Beetroot Falafel is GOOD: I needed a bit of a nutritional treat this lunchtime, so I bought myself some
         beetroot falafel. 'Well, that's not much of a treat' a colleague said. '"On the contrary." I professed, 'It
         is both sweet and vibrant!" No, this is not something from an Oscar Wilde book, this is a real-life Thursday
         situation. And did I regret the decision? Not for a moment. It really is sweeter than normal falaff [we're
         friends now, I can shorten words] and is probably much better for you than a packet of crisps.

Photo courtesy of Waitrose

It is probably going to rain this weekend.
I don't mind, i'll be in Northampton trying to stay away from the clown.

                  Photo courtesy of the Northampton Herald & Post

Love

STANLEY

whatstanleysays@gmail.com

THE CRATE BREWERY

THIS weekend I learnt that:

ONE] Warehouse courtyards CAN be fun: On Saturday I found myself at Queens Yard in Hackney Wick. To the

         untrained eye it could very well look like a load of concrete in a car park; turn to the right however and you

         end up at the inviting noises of the Crate Brewery. This place is exactly what it says on the tin, plus

         amazing pizzas. Don't believe me? I had TWO BEERS. Me. I never drink beer, but it was that good. I also

         stuffed my face with some sweet potato and Gorgonzola pizza and some sage and truffle pizza; both of

         which were 'exceptional', as my boyfriend so eloquently put it. I would have taken a photo for the blog but I

         was far too deep into my doughy-wheaty world that it didn't cross my mind for a second.

mmm courgette and red onion and other things.

        The music is great and the place is just the right size of small to be filled, but big enough to have some

        a good atmosphere and a bit of a dance, depending on how many beers you've had. So if you find yourself

        in that area with an empty belly and a real thirst on, head to the Crate Brewery, open

        every day from 9am to 11pm. MEGA.

love

STANLEY

whatstanleysays@gmail.com

ASTRONAUT FROGSTRONG AND PONGS

TODAY I have learnt that:

ONE] Frogs love to photobomb: 

Photo courtesy of The Independent.

I get that this could actually be anything with legs,

but just look at that stretchy leap action.

Definitely a frog.

           The adventurous frog decided that he was going to race the Nasa LADEE spacecraft on a mission this

           week. It had been hiding in a pool that was feeding a sprinkler. I like to think it knew exactly what was

           going on and just fancied a bit of excitement.

           So in celebration of this Armstrong-esque frog, here's a few of my favourite frog photos. Did I mention that
           we almost have more frog-themed things in our flat than we do shoes?

Photo courtesy of Documenting Reality.

That's definitely some sibling action going on.

Photo courtesy of My Funny Animals

Literally mouth open to catch flies.

Photo courtesy of animaldoor.blogspot.com

Obligatory evil frog meme.

Photo courtesy of Daily Picks and Flicks

"OHMYGODABLUEBOTTLEPIZZAWITHEXTRAFLIES"

Photo courtesy of JOKEROO

And here's a kitten in a frog hat.

The frog does not look impressed.

TWO] Some things are just plain fake: But THIS, apparently, isn't:

        This product is bizarrely available on Amazon:

         Is it weird that I quite like the bottle? Probably. More adverts should be like this [maybe a bit shorter].

It's nearly the weekend yet again.

I will be sinking many drinks on Saturday and pretending i'm not five years away from 30.

Love

STANLEY

whatstanleysays@gmail.com

DUNKMAS

TODAY I learnt that:

ONE] It is OK to dunk Double Chocolate Digestives into mint tea. Strange? Maybe so [especially since I don't
         like mint chocolate bars/cakes/ice creams] but I urge you to give it a go. I think these biscuits are
         dunkable into almost any hot drink. Partaking in a cheeky pre-Christmas mulled wine? Dunk it! Coffee
         with god-knows-what syrup? Dunk it!

mmm. Dunkalicious.

        Unfortunately you'll find that these biscuits are so good, the packet will last a mere handful of minutes.

        Better get two then, just in case.

TWO] Summer has gone: How do I know this? Not because of the grey sky or the spits of rain, but because

          today on my run I had to wear running legging things, shorts, a t-shirt and a hoodie, when yesterday I was

          in shorts and a t-shirt. In the space of one day it has gone from August to November without warning. I

          can't complain considering that this Summer has given us some of the best weather to date, so all that is

          left for me to do is skip Autumn, embrace winter, whip out my scarf and gloves and start making a 

          Christmas present list [for other people].

Might as well dish out my cape.

Anyone got anything to look forward to this week?

Got any pictures?

Love

STANLEY

whatstanleysays@gmail.com

TOP TOURISTY TIPS

TOMORROW is my dad's birthday [happy birthday MK] so I have the day off and the Koumi clan will be walking round London doing touristy things. Considering I have lived here for nearly two years, I can safely say that I probably won't have been to half the places i'll be seeing tomorrow, but that's mainly because I think we're doing the city tour bus thing. That and going to Greenwich which I have done a few times. In celebration of all things touristy, here are my 5 Top Tips for Tourists [copyrighted] in London:

ONE] Do not wear backpacks on your front.

Photo courtesy of I Love China

I understand people fear for their possessions, but

I always want to ask them whether they wear

their backpacks like back home where there

are also tourists. Wearing it like this

a] makes it even more obvious that you are a tourist and, 

b] renders the name futile. It is not called a 'frontpack'.

TWO] Do not wear more than one camera around your neck

Photo courtesy of www.rhinocerus.net

There can't possibly be an excuse to ignore this rule.

Want a different effect?
Bring a different filter, no need for an entire camera.

Also, if you're doing this and ignoring point ONE], you're

a thief's dream.

THREE] Do not use said cameras to take photos of pointless things

ooh look  it's a coat hanger - and it is in London [substitute with any city]

 -so I have to take a photo!

No, no you don't. 

FOUR] Do not crowd around 

Photo courtesy of the MailOnline

This crowd is absolutely fine here. In fact, this area was

practically made for crowds.

Do not however think you can do the same thing anywhere else.

You are likely to end up in the road.

FIVE] Do not wear socks and sandals

Photo courtesy of the Sun

We are not ancient Romans.

Also doesn't wearing socks kind of ruin the point of sandals?

If the socks are blocking the breeze to your feet, 

you should be wearing shoes.

It may look like this in your head..

Photo courtesy of BOHOMOTH

...but in reality you appear like John McCririck only

with a sexy accent.

Follow my top tips and your trip to London should go more smoothly than the top of a chocolate tart that hasn't been tipped to one side [that's pretty smooth].

Enjoy tonight's weather; tomorrow will be much, much wetter.

Love

STANLEY

whatstanleysays@gmail.com

CELEBRITY MASTERCHEF

TODAY I have learnt that:

ONE] I absolutely do not understand the timings on Masterchef. I'm currently catching up on Celebrity
         Masterchef and just watched episode 14 i.e the Cambridge University one. I just can't get my head around
         two things:
                   a] How can it take Les Dennis 1hr 30 mins to make rice pudding whilst it takes the rest of the
                       contestants the same amount of time to make an entire main course? Did I MISS something?
                   b] How can John and Gregg both 'absolutely love' it and think it takes 1hr 30mins to make rice
                       pudding? If I went on there and did that, they'd practically batter me with verbal abuse. Granted, 
                       he did make a mojito, but it was in a SHOT glass, and it doesn't take over an hour to make.
          Perhaps Les Dennis is their love child; perhaps he is telepathically controlling them. Who knows? All I
          know is that it shouldn't take the same amount of time to make this:

as it did to make this:

That being said, Masterchef remains one of the only things I watch on television, and praise be to iPlayer which allows me to watch five episodes back-to-back [I could easily watch more but I need to do things, like eat and sleep]

love

STANLEY

whatstanleysays@gmail.com

WAIT A MINUTE MR TART MAN

DON'T you just find that when you're waiting for something time goes so s l o w l y? That or you make a chocolate tart:

This is what it looked like before it toppled over at the

beginning of an hour journey..

on the way to the tube station.

Waiting also makes you do a lot of other things like:

Trying on a gigantic flat-cap and completely pulling it off.

Or taking photos of flowers on your kitchen table.

Or trawling through hundreds of 'dresses' on ASOS

and wondering where the rest of the material

goes these days.

The first day of the week has come and gone as quickly, leaving me with hardly any time to learn anything; no change there then!

My great grandad was 88 years old yesterday. I hope I have

as much hair at his age!

Love

STANLEY

whatstanleysays@gmail.com